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Champagne = Still For Dames

Posted on November 26, 2009March 2, 2026 by Robbie Ettelson

I fucking detest champagne. I don’t care if it’s that $10,000 a bottle type of bubbly, it’s still trash. Sure, it’s a good ice-breaker to impress a piece of skirt at a club, but when it’s time for some classic man-style drinking, it’s not time to be popping bottles. If history has taught us anything, it’s that the best way to get effed-up on booze is the classic neat whiskey with a beer chaser. No sweet shit, no bits of fruit floating around your glass – just the facts, ma’am. Personally, I’m rolling with your classic Jameson. Not that extra aged joint, either – just the regular version. Combine that with a case of Heineken tall cans or some Budejovicky Budvar and you’re ready to getitin. Considering that drinking has now replaced breaking as the third element of hip-hop, it seems like an ideal time to get a feel for what everyone is guzzling on when it’s time to dumb-out, get numb and try to get some. All teetotalers and Corona sippers please wait outside while us grown folks are talking.

What’s your choice of liquor when it’s time for a bender?

51 thoughts on “Champagne = Still For Dames”

  1. sto24 says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    great choice man! i would also go for either Jameson or Glenfidich as the price for this stuff is reasonable.
    i do have a case of Budejovicky Budvar at home as i always have during christmas time, thats the real stuff man! not the pissy budweiser from the states.
    other good czech brands are: Gambrinus, Kozel, Staropramen, Plisner Urquell…

  2. gx says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    jamesons makes me think of that scene from the wire when mcnultys caining it through the industrial zone with one eye open, listening to the pogues “rum sodomy and the lash” then careens into a wall.

    trying to come up with a drink of choice i realise ill drink anything really. “i drink wine in a box/ grind on the blocks….”

  3. charlie says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    straight gin with ice. all the time fuck it.

  4. mikki dee says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    what ever rappers say is cool

  5. skinnyjoe says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    A bottle of Evan Williams, a bottle of Coke, and a box of Black & Mild’s and I’m good.

    And just as a side note: I’ve been playing the shit out of some Joell Ortiz lately.

  6. Martin says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    Typically european lager (Heineken, Staropramen, Kronenburg etc.) and premium Rum (and Jack D-shots).

    Ron Zacapa 23 yrs (Guatemalan rum) is as good as it gets and not that expensive.

    http://www.royalmilewhiskies.com/product.asp?pf_id=0400000001272

  7. Frost Gamble says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    Blanton’s Bourbon neat, no chaser.

    Try listening to Sean Price while drinking it without punching someone, I dare ya!

  8. WallySean says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    usually, since I’m under 21 and still in college, I’m forced to stick with a combo I call Bud ‘n’ Bud (10+ Bud Light + 1 blunt = a good night).

    Ideally, though, any combo of whiskey, rum and tequila with a beer chaser is the way to go. irish coffee is a fantastic way to start off a morning.

  9. swordfish says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    as a kraut i prefer german beer.a lot.
    even got a tat of my fave (kronen export).
    but czech brew is drinkable too.
    and for booze: whuteva i’ll drink it

  10. malikorama says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    Drop a split jalapeno pepper and a shot of Cuervo Black into a bottle of Guinness Extra Stout and I’m ready to go to the moon!

  11. dj blendz says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    *Waits outside drinkin his Corona beer,with a Hen dog on the side*

  12. Jay says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    Sailor Jerry’s rum gets me dangerous

  13. Ass Hat says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    always the cider in my neck of the woods.
    try finding a rap lyric about that, though.

  14. andrewfromrussia says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    …..drinking has now replaced breaking as the third element of hip-hop…..

    hahahaha. Truth!

    Captain Morgan Black FTW!

  15. BIG D O says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    When I’m drinkin’ I fucks with any type of cognac’ (prefer Martell or Hennessy), neat or a “long sloe screw” Screwdriver ….

    when it comes to beer I’m a Heineken man all the way…that or MGD…I usually just buy whatever beer is the cheapest at the bar, I hate payin fuckin $5 for a beer man….

  16. Sickness says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    Henny for me or German Beer with the Reinheitsgebot ;)

    And since Belvedere is fucking cheap in Poland, I make sure to bring some bottles home every time I go there haha. Good stuff indeed.

  17. jesse says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    I wish we got OE in Aus.. seriously.

  18. End Level Boss says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    I’ll drink anything and everything, I’m not fussy.

  19. money mercilesz says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    Bacardi light, Henny…nothin fancy just alot of it

  20. Matty Matt says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    A well poured pint of Guinness and either a bourbon (think W.L.Weller or Makers if you’re on a budget)or a peaty scotch (Lagavulin, Arbeg etc.) press play on that old Pete Rock/C.L Smooth shit and you’re banging son!

  21. Dialect says:
    November 26, 2009 at

    “i dont drink crystal and i cant stand mo”…the senstionalising of drinking is the gayest shit to happen to hip hop…champagne whiskey beer or otherwise…if artists spent more time in the fuckin booth or crates than in their henny glasses we wouldnt be on here bitching bout the state of hip hop.

  22. BIGSPICE says:
    November 27, 2009 at

    When I was a younger man – and just wanted to get lit it was long island iced teas all day for me. Nothing says “I wanna be THAT guy” more than drinking LI teas. Now I roll with vodka- mainly grey goose or kettel one. As far as beer goes I am a Heiny man.

  23. Crisis says:
    November 27, 2009 at

    Most beer. With the exeption of light and Blonde (Low carb – meh – you’ll still end up craving that Kebab at 3 N’ Tha Mornin! Not to mention drinking the sort of beer that Paris Hilton promotes is about as masculine as the Ready Steady Cook host… gotta love daytime TV).

    Oh… And I can’t forget old faithful. Cask wine. Nothing like 4 Litres of Stanley White to take you back to your school/unemployment days!

  24. Hooligan says:
    November 27, 2009 at

    Stella Artois (not the 4% pussyole version) and a cocaine chaser, guaranteed to leave either you or someone else fucked up in the gutter!

  25. reiser says:
    November 27, 2009 at

    It’s kinda complicated but it definitely works: let a small glass -here we call it just “shot”- of Jack Daniel’s float in a pint of Supertennent’s, hit it on the upside, and as soon as it reaches the glasses’ bottom it will start I don’t know what kinda strange chemical reaction so that you’re forced to drink it all in one sip. Take three of these and enjoy.

    Aside from that, being half German and half Italian I enjoy beer as well as wine so just have to choose between the two.

  26. blatwords says:
    November 27, 2009 at

    D’la kro en grosse quantité ‘gro

  27. RowanB says:
    November 27, 2009 at

    its gotta be glenfidich with a leffe chaser :)

  28. negotiator says:
    November 27, 2009 at

    only dirty backwoods americans think that hard booze is how you unwind and drink… what facts do you have to prove this and who the fuck even wants to hear from you…

  29. ceedub says:
    November 27, 2009 at

    Music stars (rappers included) are the main reason why young people drink bad stuff. The glamourasition of Champaine is an offense to all the great artisans of Champaine who bust their ASSES OFF to produce good wine. Fuck Moet!

  30. deskreet says:
    November 27, 2009 at

    sailor jerrys and coke is a garunteed wildin out nite, finish wit some mgd and ur strait

  31. tareq says:
    November 27, 2009 at

    Carlsberg special brew. Dragon stout or guinness export.

    NEVER ANYTHING UNDER 5% and im not talking about the nation.

  32. tres says:
    November 27, 2009 at

    “I’ll drink anything and everything, I’m not fussy.”

    ^^EXACTLY. There’s a time & place for everything. At my wedding I bought 5 bottles of Moet and thats all I drank all night.
    If I’m at my boy’s crib watching a game and all he got is Natty Light, I’mma be drinking Natty Light. Alcohol is alcohol. Yall need to calm your inner snob down.

  33. sb says:
    November 27, 2009 at

    i like champagne

  34. PR2 says:
    November 27, 2009 at

    Seppoes drink Henny with Coke.
    WTF?

  35. Hud says:
    November 28, 2009 at

    tanq and anything.

    newcastle.

    sailor jerry’s can really cause some problems too.

    you wont catch me drinking moet or anything ever either, i did drink about 3 bottles of peach andre (2.99 a bottle) on new years tho. i was on another level.

  36. rich says:
    November 28, 2009 at

    Puncheon rum w/Carib or Stag

    http://www.wbdistributionltd.co.uk/images/puncheon_rum.jpg

  37. biggist from brooklyn says:
    November 28, 2009 at

    If my kids are asleep: any dark rum w/ an ashton cigar.
    Kids awake (almost all the time): pinot grigio in the summer, pinot nior in the winter(I know, straight bitch shit). For beer, my favorite is a microbrew from cooperstown called the 3 philosophers. Its a smooth rich dark stout that goes well with chocolate.

    My list sounds like some homo shit, but thats alright. When I first started drinking I was living in Malboro projects in Brooklyn; my beer of choice then was Old Gold…

  38. deemo says:
    November 29, 2009 at

    “Bushmills? That’s PROTESTANT whiskey!” — McNulty

  39. Unrap says:
    November 29, 2009 at

    Jack Daniels.

  40. Drunk mexican says:
    November 29, 2009 at

    @ Tareq
    hahaha 5% & im not talking bout the Nation. damm that had me rolling..

    Im either on some Stella,Sierra Nevada,hefenwizen,or grey goose and a whole lotta hydro.

  41. Mike Nice says:
    November 29, 2009 at

    Current age: 38

    Beer of choice: Stiegl on tap or in tall cans

    Whiskey of choice: Jim Beam neat (or as a shot)

    …but my first drink of choice when I’m partying is…

    Classic dry vodka martini (Stolichnaya) with an olive. Ice cold baby.

  42. ben profane says:
    November 30, 2009 at

    a case of beers in the staircase – pabst.

    I keep guap in my socks.

  43. gstatty says:
    November 30, 2009 at

    when it comes to the hard alcohol, i likes the cazadores tequila, vodka, either grey goose or belvidere, when its rum i like the appleton jamaican rum, i drinks me some single malt, glen morangie is usually my shit, or one of the other ones aged at least 15 years, on that beer tip, the best brown ale is rogue hazelnut brown nectar, stout is that rasputin stout, then theres the belgium brewing company’s sunshine wheat beer, i like blue moon and widmer hefeweizen on the other wheat beer tip, belgium brewing company also does a good fat tire amber ale, widmer does a good drop top amber ale, mactarnahan’s amber ale is pretty spot on, deschutes brewery has an organic green lakes amber ale which is the best amber i have ever drank, imo, i do also fux with terminator stout, and the occasional 40 oz of mickey’s malt liqour

  44. gstatty says:
    November 30, 2009 at

    oh and i boosted a bottle of dom perignon one time, and that shit tasted like carbonated juice of a sweat sock, never again my dude

  45. eric says:
    November 30, 2009 at

    I got five years of sobriety and no plans to drink again. There are much better ways to ruin a life.

  46. brutalLee says:
    December 1, 2009 at

    Have her put one leg up and get a
    Little Captain in her.
    For thAt special lady…give her the
    Private stock n pirate cock Arrrg!

  47. mick says:
    December 1, 2009 at

    sailor gerries, ballantines, JD, captain mo spiced and crown royal… summers over, need the liquor to warm the blood

  48. ellery says:
    December 9, 2009 at

    carn rob,
    don’t sell champagne short. Anything that was accidentally discovered by a blind monk in the 1600’s fucking around with some wine has gotta be given some merit.

    I agree it has the faggoty stigma of austere and elitism, but as a craft and a process you gotta respect it.

    Oh and i’m not talking some bullshit ass yellow carbonated wine either. Were talking methode orginale, yeast extraction etc.

    FWIW i fucks with any drink.

  49. CurtMcgirt says:
    December 13, 2009 at

    E&J and Mickey’s! and WHAT! Old post,new comment!

  50. verge says:
    December 17, 2009 at

    Heinys and easy jesus.
    same as it ever was.

  51. 5 Grand says:
    December 18, 2009 at

    Jesus drank wine. Now that I’m older (36) I gotta say that 2 or 3 glasses of red wine puts you in a zone that ordinary beer or hard liquor doesn’t. You can buy a jug of Carlo Rossi for $12 around my neck of the woods. That’s enough wine to sip on for a week.

    However, I’m not a snob either. When I drink beer its usually Budweiser. The other day I drank a 40 oz of Ballentine, it was only $2.45.

    When I buy hard liquor it’s usually Bicardi (light or dark), but when I have dough I might buy Corvousier. Its like $35 for a decent size bottle.

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