Dwindling CD sales getting you down? Wondering why the rap game can’t buy you a pack of gum? Then take a leaf out of the video game industry’s book of rip-off’s tricks – the Collector’s Edition. Why settle for selling your new album for $15 when you can make a $150 version? Here are some suggested ‘Limited Edition’ sets for soon to be released rap albums:
Raekwon The Chef – Only Built 4 Cuban Linx II – 38th Chamber Collector’s Set
Not only do you get the long-awaited sequel to one of rap’s greatest albums in a hand-engraved metal CD tin, this essential package also includes purple triple-vinyl, a purple cassette, a mini version of Ghostface‘s Gold Eagle bracelet, a razor and a DVD with exclusive footage of Joe Budden getting punched in his eye.
Jay-Z – Blueprint 3 – Prestige Edition
Oprah‘s new favorite rap dude returns to reclaim his crown or whatever it is he does now, with his Uber-Limited version offering fans the new CD wrapped in rice-paper, a signed glamor shot of Beyonce, a scale model of Jay’s yacht, some S.Dot sandals and a copy of Jigga‘s latest stock portfolio.
Rakim – The 7th Seal – God’s Edition
Rakim Allah is back to bring deep thinking back to the rap game, and this Special Edition is ideal for long-time fans who want the complete experience. Includes a copy of the DAT tape with the 40 songs he recorded for Aftermath, a copy of the restraining order he had taken out against Eric B, a replica of the cowboy hat he sported at the Hip-Hop Honors and his favorite recipes for fish.
MOP – The Foundation – Brownsville Collectors Version
After sitting on the shelf at Roc-A-Fella and G-Unit, the long awaited follow-up to Warriorz is being shipped with an aluminum baseball bat, a mini-bar collection of bourbons and whiskeys, a gun-shaped lighter, knuckle-dusters and a replica hand grenade.
The Roots – How I Got Over – Night Late Collectors Set
The hip-hop band take a quick break from Late Night to serve the okayplayer brigade another hit. Within the TV-shaped tin is a 500 page book, featuring ?uestlove‘s Top 100 Twitter Updates, an essay detailing the story of how each snare was recorded and mixed on every song of the album, a list of the band’s favorite pr0n stars for possible future video roles and the complete transcript of a candid conversation about 50’s jazz music between Jimmy Fallon and Amir. Also includes a frozen Philly cheese steak and an autographed drumstick.
No Armadale vodka with the M.O.P pack huh?
What about a Group Home set with a speech correction video, a lead pipe to hit people’s moms with, and a new weight set to take down to the Freedom Tunnels?
The Willie D collectors set also dropped, it ships with a box of assorted cellphones.
KRSONE&BUCKSHOT- SURVIVAL SKILLS- BACKPACK EDITION; WITH GPS-COMPASS/FIRST-AID KIT/CRANK-UP RADIO,NON-PERISHABLES,ETC
Rakim’s favorite recipes for fish for teh Win. and maybe to add to the raekwon special edition, Method man’s found killa teef, for the roots a special fertilizer mix for a root growth formula, jay-z should throw in an old school hawaiian sophie shirt. Trent reznor is smart because he did some special edition ish of his recent NIN album, shit he even let people download it for free and pay him if they wanted to, or pay full retail for the whole shebang, hip hop and the music industry in general needs to take some cues from that musician and businessman.
there should be an extra fluffy pack of that new ghost album.
I could go for a We Can’t Be Stopped one which includes a bottle of Everclear, a female robot with a gun which sporadically fires bullets at your face, prosthetic makeup to create your own blasted out eye wound and, the Pièce de résistance, Willie D’s purple denim outfit.
The Beatnuts Collection:
-Comes with Waterproof suit
(especially handy when swerving in Beirut OR dumping bodies off boats)
-A six pack of Cornona
(in this case its better to give than receive)
–
-Al Tariq aka “Fashion” limited edition Button fly Levi’s
-Copy of “Spanish For Dummies”
“DVD with exclusive footage of Joe Budden getting punched in his eye.”
I’m not a Joe Budden fan, but……..
Why, exactly, is an out of shape, chubby, damn near 40, Raekwon getting credit for the actions of grown men who cling to his nuts for minimum wadge?
Paying a bunch of group home babies to run with you is not cute (please spare me all of that “He’s a boss” talk).
I’m to old to be fighting, but if I have a problem, I handle it myself or I don’t REALLY have a problem at all. Right?
It’s good marketing though. Let some hungry, never been nowhere, born to lose, degenerate from around your way punch another rapper in the eye in your honor right before you release an album you really, really, really need to win drops.
I guess it went over well even in the 30+ hip hop demographic.
How ’bout… PMD: The Solo Anthology
which features a Shuma Management t-shirt, a PMD Records hat, a bonus CD featuring assorted conversations with Skoob of Das EFX, a replica of the alarm system he had when Erick’s crew came barging in, and a cassette single of Top Quality’s “Magnum Opus”.
-D!
Great post and comments, except openheads.
Reminds me of a dream I had as a teenager: I dreamed that I had a ‘starter’ type jacket that had Rakim’s face on the back and a built in radio with the speakers knocking out the sleeves.
I also had a dream that I was clothes shopping and copped some “Mytee G Poetic” socks. I’m a retard deep down, I know…
Available in stores soon: ‘Relapse 2: Deluxe Edition’. Complete with blonde hair spray, a Mariah Carey blow-up doll, minty fresh-flavoured novelty Vicodin tablets and a kite shaped like Bruno
Just peep some of the packaging on southernlord.com . Special editions galore!
Lol all hits no misses! Funny.
It was cool how the Critical Beatdown reissue had mentally mad and ego trippin’s full version. Only the mixdown on ego trippin was different. A few left out 12 inch bangers but still dope thru and thru.