There you are, just minding your business, when suddenly – seemingly out of nowhere – another rapper dude decides to return to the game and put out a new album. While this is all well and good (I wouldn’t say no the idea of a second Barsha record) in theory at least, insofar as I’m sure said aging rapper may have a lot on his mind which he needs to vent at this exact moment or else he’ll need to cut all salt out of his diet to ensure his blood pressure is maintained at an acceptable level, the grim reality is that it isn’t going to be a pleasant experience for anybody involved.
Here are a few tips which may help lessen the pain:
a) Rap is a sport, so without regular practice and training you’re not going to be as good at it as you were fifteen years ago.
b) Just because you befriended a European beatmaker on Myspace years ago who is now willing to produce your entire LP for $500 doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea.
c) Please don’t, for any reason, even think about updating your rhyme style to ‘stay current’ or attempting to ‘modernize’ your music. The only people who will be checking out this release – if anyone actually does – will be your loyal old fans, who want you to make something that at least resembles your old classics. This doesn’t mean that you should play like Milk D and include a sample of your biggest hit on every other song you ever make, however.
d) If you’re releasing a new CD just as an excuse to tour, maybe give the fans a heads-up in some form of super secret code, such as calling the album Half Price Entry To My Show If You Present This CD At The Door.
e) Don’t feel the need to attempt to make your own Dame Grease style tracks on your nephew’s keyboard, just live on the edge and rap over ‘Nautilus.’ I can’t see anyone getting sued over 3,000 CDs in 2016.
Also,
f) they need to stop flooding their projects with features unless it actually makes sense.
g) don’t make any videos for your videos unless its creative. no more of these corny videos where you do nothing in the shot but rap and nothing around you is of interest. Also if you used to have dope videos for your 90s albums, why are you paying someone to make mediocre videos for you.
There are only a few who can succesfully come back.
Bring back black rob, o.c., rakim, krs. They can do it.
Fat joe is good at comebacks, every other summer.
g: DO have something to say and a reason to get back on the mic; beyond being broke/lonely.
H: BUT Don’t do one of those bitter old rapper albums about how the scene/game/industry has done you wrong and how the youngens have all strayed from “real” rap values.
I: Don’t try to pick fights with current flavour-of-the-month rappers – and certainly don’t do a re-run of that LL/Canibus debacle.
j: Don’t go the “I taught Jay-Z everything he knows….Eminem owes his fame to me…I was the original Ghostface” route.
Great work Dino…especially the last one.
k: When acts at the peak of their fame/game (Wu/2pac/Jay-Z/Biggie/BT&H) struggled with the format, wat makes you believe you have what it takes to pull off a double (CD) album? (I’m talking to you Paris/E40/Killah Priest).
L: Loose weight but don’look skinny like a crackhead
M : Stop smoking if you want to reach to spit at least 8 bars
N : Start with a 12inch,sometimes one song can put you (back) on the game (Top billin, Live at Bbq,Deep Cover,Ain’t no nigga, etc….)
you hit the nail on the head.