Here’s a heart-warming tale of drinking too much from Grand Daddy I.U. from the interview I conducted with him in the carpark of a bar in Long Island, circa 2013. Living proof that doctor’s don’t know shit a lot of the time, and that drinking non-alcoholic beer really is a fate worse than death itself.
Robbie: Any good drinking stories?
Grand Daddy I.U.: Back in the days I used to drink Bacardi Dark. I must’ve been an alcoholic, cos I would go to sleep drinking that shit and wake up drinking that shit. One day my stomach was feeling so fuckin’ crazy I thought I had to shit or something. I’m sitting on the toilet and ain’t shit coming out – I start throwing up, throwing up – the shit started becoming yellow! I didn’t eat no shit that was yellow! Come to find out it was my stomach lining. This shit became so painful I called my moms, ‘I don’t know what this shit is, but you gotta come get me!’ She came and got me, the whole time I keep throwing up.
At the hospital they told me, ‘Sign the paper’ and I couldn’t grab the pen because my hand started locking up. It looked like a claw! They said, ‘Your body’s going into shock, you can’t drink no more.’ I laid up in the hospital for two weeks, I couldn’t drink nothing, I couldn’t eat nothing, I had an I.V. and all this bullshit. When they let me go they said, ‘You can’t eat nothing with salt, no hot sauce.’ I put hot sauce on everything, my nigga! Even if it’s motherfucking cereal! They said, ‘Don’t drink. If you drink again, you gon’ die.’ This was 1992.
I was drinking this shit called O’Doul’s – it’s non alcoholic beer – for six months straight. Then I said, ‘You know what? Fuck that motherfucking shit!’ [laughs] I got me a motherfucking real beer, and I waited. ‘I don’t feel nothing. Fuck that shit, it’s back on and poppin’.’ I’ve been drinking ever since, but I know that once i start feeling funny I’ma chill for a little while and shit. Back in the day I’d be on the block all the time, and when the liquor store closed you’ve only got the bootlegger. The bootlegger only had certain shit. They had Wild Irish Rose, wine and Bacardi Dark, so I got on the Bacardi Dark – all day, everyday. I’ll never drink Bacardi again in my life.
Why is this important? Lol
Enjoy that gastroscopy
Grandaddy I.V. Lol.